Lecturer Letdown

I will never forget that Monday afternoon at the office....

It was two weeks since I was adviced, quite tactlessly, not to apply for reclassification from lecturer to instructor, for the lame reason that my masters (applied mathematics) won't lead to Ph.D., plus an ever more silly reason that they can have fewer applicants to scrutinize.

Although I didn't show my frustration to anyone, deep inside me, I felt I was robbed. It was as if they didn't give me the slightest chance to prove myself to them or air my future plans to them. Although I had the choice to defy them (some colleagues really advised me to write that letter of application, ask help from some people, and so on), I just let it pass and just kept quiet. Nawalan na ako ng gana, kumbaga. But deep within me, I was distraught....I felt that it was unfair...REALLY unfair. I actually even contemplated packing my things and leave...

Well, days have passed, summer class days have gone, and the stigma of that crucial afternoon of my career slowly faded. By this time I have accepted such "tragedy" in my professional career. I was even happy to know that my friend has been elevated to Instructer 1 from being a lecturer like me. I also decided to give it a shot next semester, or even next academic year. For the mean trime, I will continue to give my best a lecturer of the department....

I will never forget that afternoon...but I want to remember it with the conviction that they can never let a good man down. I will try to do my very best to prove myself as a good teacher and student to them, no matter what happens. In His grace, I can make it....