(Re)Classified Odd: Another Letdown?

It was quite a letdown all over again...

...and I was not alone this time.

I remember quite well THAT professor who gave me the "letdown". He advocated CRITICAL THINKING, but he didn't think twice in denying me the chance to apply for reclassification last summer for the lame reason of me having a non-PhD-able graduate course. (Read my blog on the Lecturer Letdown for some backgrounder).

Now, a sem has passed, and I applied again, this time with another lecturer who was incidentally a MS Applied Math major like me. Her advantage, though, was that she was already prepared to start her master's thesis. My predicament was my LOA for this sem but I applied nonetheless, ready to answer any query that will result in my academic status.

After submitting my grades online, I immediately composed a lengthy appication letter addressed to our chairman, then went to the Admin office to submit it with my TCG. Ate Guey then scheduled me for an interview on the 27th at 4:30 pm. That day was also the demo-interview of new applicants. My co-lecturer was scheduled also on that daw, after my interview schedule.

Days passed before the interview...I really prepared myself to the extent of thinking all possible questions that would be thrown at me, planning the nicest approach and the sweetest smile to the panel (even if that prof would really give me shivers of anger and fear if he would be present), even asking my students to wish me luck to alleviate my nervousness. My teacher-friend who was reclassified this semester even gave me some tips during one of our YM chat sessions.

Then a shock came to both of us on the day of the supposed interview.

The day of the interview came. Well-wishers still filled my cell phone with encouraging messages (I had no prepaid load then so I couldn't reply to them). My room mates at Room 106 reduced my nervousness by cracking jokes and other silly stuff about my application and other things. I had frequent visits to the john due to nerbiyos. I was really a bit uneasy but at least there were my colleagues to lighten me up. I even remember Ate Guey reminding me to go upstairs by my scheduled time and wished me luck.

A few minutes before 4:30 I prepared to do the decisive climbing of the stairs leading to the second floor, and the crucial walk toward the conference room where the interview was supposed to take place. When I went out of the room to go upstairs with two coteachers, I saw tmy other co-teachers going down already from the second floor. Was the interview supposed to go on till 6 pm, I asked. Did the committee forgot that there two souls waiting anxiously to be grilled?

Then the shocker came from a co-teacher who went to our room.

For some reason or another the committee tasked to screen teaching applicants decided not to interview us on that day. That co-teacher just told us that after a moment of deliberation the committee decided to disperse the crowd and scrutinize first our SET's (Student Evaluation of Teacher) and other feedbacks. They will notify us later for the next scheduled interview. A text message from the chairman confirmed the decision.

After learning that decision I just sat down my corner in the office full of disbelief... I didn't know what to react....So many things filled my mind then. What the heck happened there? Why such a sudden change of mind? Was there an underlying motive for such move? Should I feel paranoia? Will that chance really come? Sheesh...

A pinch of optimism still remained after that, though.... Who knows, that interview might come true just as our chairman has said. Although I no longer had the same anxiousness and enthusiasm as before, I would wait again...

But the wait might be in vain. Days passed since then. The enrolment will end soon... No sign of anything....

And they already hired three new teachers....

So, what does it mean for us?

Now, my feeling of disbelief is as strong as ever.... I feel a sense of distrust and helplessness....

But there's nothing we can do....

Well, I guess I have to accept it.

...and move on.